He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
