if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
