Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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