the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
