There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
