i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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