I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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