Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
