doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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