She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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