i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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