Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
thus making me awesome and them whores
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
