So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
