a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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