just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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