everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
