Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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