I hate all girls vehemently.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
