what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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