i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We left the knife in your bed.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
