Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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