I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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