How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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