Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
