He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
