Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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