He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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