Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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