Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
