I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Its about making memories worth repressing
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
