Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
