would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i believe in u and ur pee
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