Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
