walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
