Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
