Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
