Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
