need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
