you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
