You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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