Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
