see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
