I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
