Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
