its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
