People in love make me want to vomit
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
