What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
