oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
