you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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