okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
