I just cut my nipple shaving
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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